What Now?

  I am at a crossroads, and have not the foggiest which road to turn down... All I know is certain is that I must choose one, or be known as the perpetual fuckup.

  Maybe I should explain (perhaps I should refrain). Ah, here goes... My parents, in an attempt to keep me "pure, and good" withheld me from society. I was their golden child, the one who showed potential, the one they wanted. Tested a higher IQ than both of my parents @ the age of 5, when my mother was convinced that I was "special" and took me to a sting of specialists- Only to find out that I was brighter than she was. Whoda thunk?
  So, they illegally homeschooled  me. There is no record of my education. Period. State laws required a minimum of yearly testing, reporting the scores to the state for the purpose of grade advancement, and statistical purposes. They opted out of ANY reporting. I was simply a ghost. The only record of my existence up until the age of 15 (when I became pregnant, entered the system, and became just another statistic) was the date of my birth, and a hand full of random (and RARE) doctors office visits.
  When it became evident to me, some time around middle school, that I needed outside influences in my life if I were ever to become anything of worth, I asked to be placed in a public school. Only to my astonishment, I found out that it was not possible, my parents would face jail time if they were to attempt to do so. The result was that I was continued at home, completely isolated from society, as I had always been. Eventually that backfired, as I said, resulting in pregnancy.

  Now, here I am, a 25 year old mother of 3. In the eyes of any potential employer, completely uneducated. I can not even compete for an entry level position that some illiterate 18 year old fresh out of HS can! I am "Unqualified".
  Now, let us compound the situational difficulties here... I can not pass the GED as it is now, because it was revamped last year. A little explanation due? Yes, yes... I had a drug over dose about 8 years ago. I almost lost my life, actually, I did. I was brought back... NDEs are always fun, they change things.  I lost a lot of memory as well. Mostly mathematics, I regained the stutter that I had lived with as a child, and several other difficulties that I am still coping with today.  After spending several months in study, it became apparent that NO progress was being made. I maxed out all of my other test pacs, but math... FUCK!!!
  I also do not have a valid Drivers License. When I was in HS, there were several laws passed in the state of NC regarding student grades and eligibility to acquire your DL. Students that dropped out of HS could not maintain a DL, it would be suspended or revoked, as well as students that did not maintain a C- average. Seeing that I was not ever actually IN school, I was not eligible.
  Those laws have since been changed, but by the time they were I was living on my own, and used this wonderful thing called Public Transportation. I had no car, no money to get one, and did not need one. Boy did THAT change!
  Upon moving to SC in 2006, I learned just how badly I needed my DL. I was married to a man who refused to sit in the passengers side of a car with a woman driving- he ripped me out of the car on several (more than 15) occasions, becoming increasingly violent each time. I finally gave up on learning to drive, it was certainly not worth having the living shit beat out of me.   So, here I am now.

  I want to be productive, I want to be someone my children can look up to. Not simply their mother. I want to be financially independent, and yet I realize that I likely never will be. I will have to have help from somewhere... And I would rather die than be a welfare mom. The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth, they do not aspire to ever do more than be a leech.

 What now? What the FUCK now?