I'm not your mediator, your therapist, your personal advisor or your life coach. I'm not here to be your personal dumping grounds. I don't give a flying furry rats ass what happened, who did it, or why. You played a part in it too, own the fault you should be rightly in possession of.
I'm one of the most fucked up individuals you have the pleasure of knowing, even if you don't know it. Just so happens, that I'm also one of the most patient people you're ever going to cross paths with. I'll always lend an ear, but in exchange, you get my opinion. My take on the situation... Most of the time I refrain from telling you how badly your perception of reality has been warped by the pain you've survived. I get it, you're always going to project your unhappiness- the result is, that you're always going to make *everyone* around you unhappy.
Say it one more time for me baby, I don't think I heard it hon... Okay, so this time it was her fault too... I see, you didn't say *anything* about her, her life choices, her sexual orientation, her parenting style- which, by the way, I don't agree with, but she doesn't agree with mine either. Live and let live.... No, it's not 'wrong' or 'fucked up'.... So, because you pay rent somewhere, and the other person has a few beers after work, they're stealing from you?.... Oh. Got it. You did *everything*, and you got fucked... Yeah, you know what? Really? You want to know something?.... When you walk around spewing hate, talking shit about someone, making their business your business, you can expect a backlash.... I don't give a fuck what you feel is "wrong"! People are born Gay, straight, bi, black, white, green, blue, orange, brown, yellow, or polka dotted. We are what we are, and there isn't anything that can be done to change it- you can accept that or move on.... But doesn't your very own religion preach love for your fellow man?.... Oh, I see that only applies when they believe the *same exact thing you do*.... But you're not going to burn in hell for ruining someone's reputation. For intentionally undermining their authority as head of household- and telling their children that they're a sick, bad person?... K, well... You can take it and fucking SHOVE YOUR HATE BOOK UP YOUR ASS...
^^^^^^^
THIS is what I *wish* our conversations sounded like. What I wish I could just come out and fucking say. Nope. Not me. Not the "Good friend". Not the person who always has the tolerance to sit through a couple hours of hate spewing, trailer park politics, scripture misquoting, rage driven conversation. Even when I *WHOLEHEARTEDLY* disagree with absolutely every thing that comes out of your teenie-itty-bitty-uneducated-miserable mind, via your southern, white-trash-speaking mouth. Yep. Always have the time, the patience, and the respect.
NOT NO MORE. Not me. Nope. I do not possess the mental or emotional bandwidth to fucking accommodate your bullshit. In fact, I believe I'm going to pass on this year's bullshit-o-meter calibration. It's functioning just fucking fine and dandy, in fact, it is finally working properly... no need to fix something that isn't broken.
If I *dared* to call any of you up, simply for the purpose of dumping emotional baggage you'd blow me off in a moment. You'd say you have your own shit to deal with, when I know damned well your "shit" is not having enough $$ for some stupid shit you don't actually need. Or having to be a responsible adult, and own up to your share of fault... Yeah, heavy shit man. *sarcasm*
Well bitch... Here's the condensed version.
While you were bitching about how someone "stole" from you, because they forgot to pay the rent on time and there was an extra fee- I was wondering if my child, who had been abducted was even still alive. But I sat and let you have your say.
While you were distraught, because your boyfriend of two weeks bought someone else a drink- I was living in sheer terror while my ex threatened my life, and moved himself out in the woods behind my home so he could "keep a watch over me".
While you were bitching about the 4th speeding ticket you've had in as many months- I was living day to day, wondering if I would be able to keep my family together.
While you screamed about your roommates pets, and what a mess the house is, and how much you hate living there- I shared a dorm with 13 other women, and 20 children. I was videotaped 24/7 for my "safety", even while I bathed. I was exposed to illness, deplorable living conditions, and desperate to keep my children safe amongst it all.
While you cried over having gained 60 lbs (which didn't exactly happen over night, and you *did* have something to do with), and bitched about not wanting to exercise- I gave up meal after meal to make sure my children didn't go to bed hungry. I lost 20 lbs in a month, just so they could eat.
While you got drunk and dialed, incoherently complaining- I had to hide enough money to keep the water on, and take a good beating for it.
While you complained that you didn't get to go out with friends often enough because of work- I was literally a prisoner in my own home, and I was repeatedly beaten for talking to you at all.
Through all of your bullshit... when have you ever taken a moment to consider the fact that you might just have it pretty damned good? NEVER.
As bad as my shit was, someone else had it worse. As close as I came to being another obituary, someone else did. When bad shit wasn't happening, I made of it what I could... WITHOUT THE HELP OF ANYONE.
Fuck You. Fuck you very very much.
I'm one of the most fucked up individuals you have the pleasure of knowing, even if you don't know it. Just so happens, that I'm also one of the most patient people you're ever going to cross paths with. I'll always lend an ear, but in exchange, you get my opinion. My take on the situation... Most of the time I refrain from telling you how badly your perception of reality has been warped by the pain you've survived. I get it, you're always going to project your unhappiness- the result is, that you're always going to make *everyone* around you unhappy.
Say it one more time for me baby, I don't think I heard it hon... Okay, so this time it was her fault too... I see, you didn't say *anything* about her, her life choices, her sexual orientation, her parenting style- which, by the way, I don't agree with, but she doesn't agree with mine either. Live and let live.... No, it's not 'wrong' or 'fucked up'.... So, because you pay rent somewhere, and the other person has a few beers after work, they're stealing from you?.... Oh. Got it. You did *everything*, and you got fucked... Yeah, you know what? Really? You want to know something?.... When you walk around spewing hate, talking shit about someone, making their business your business, you can expect a backlash.... I don't give a fuck what you feel is "wrong"! People are born Gay, straight, bi, black, white, green, blue, orange, brown, yellow, or polka dotted. We are what we are, and there isn't anything that can be done to change it- you can accept that or move on.... But doesn't your very own religion preach love for your fellow man?.... Oh, I see that only applies when they believe the *same exact thing you do*.... But you're not going to burn in hell for ruining someone's reputation. For intentionally undermining their authority as head of household- and telling their children that they're a sick, bad person?... K, well... You can take it and fucking SHOVE YOUR HATE BOOK UP YOUR ASS...
^^^^^^^
THIS is what I *wish* our conversations sounded like. What I wish I could just come out and fucking say. Nope. Not me. Not the "Good friend". Not the person who always has the tolerance to sit through a couple hours of hate spewing, trailer park politics, scripture misquoting, rage driven conversation. Even when I *WHOLEHEARTEDLY* disagree with absolutely every thing that comes out of your teenie-itty-bitty-uneducated-miserable mind, via your southern, white-trash-speaking mouth. Yep. Always have the time, the patience, and the respect.
NOT NO MORE. Not me. Nope. I do not possess the mental or emotional bandwidth to fucking accommodate your bullshit. In fact, I believe I'm going to pass on this year's bullshit-o-meter calibration. It's functioning just fucking fine and dandy, in fact, it is finally working properly... no need to fix something that isn't broken.
If I *dared* to call any of you up, simply for the purpose of dumping emotional baggage you'd blow me off in a moment. You'd say you have your own shit to deal with, when I know damned well your "shit" is not having enough $$ for some stupid shit you don't actually need. Or having to be a responsible adult, and own up to your share of fault... Yeah, heavy shit man. *sarcasm*
Well bitch... Here's the condensed version.
While you were bitching about how someone "stole" from you, because they forgot to pay the rent on time and there was an extra fee- I was wondering if my child, who had been abducted was even still alive. But I sat and let you have your say.
While you were distraught, because your boyfriend of two weeks bought someone else a drink- I was living in sheer terror while my ex threatened my life, and moved himself out in the woods behind my home so he could "keep a watch over me".
While you were bitching about the 4th speeding ticket you've had in as many months- I was living day to day, wondering if I would be able to keep my family together.
While you screamed about your roommates pets, and what a mess the house is, and how much you hate living there- I shared a dorm with 13 other women, and 20 children. I was videotaped 24/7 for my "safety", even while I bathed. I was exposed to illness, deplorable living conditions, and desperate to keep my children safe amongst it all.
While you cried over having gained 60 lbs (which didn't exactly happen over night, and you *did* have something to do with), and bitched about not wanting to exercise- I gave up meal after meal to make sure my children didn't go to bed hungry. I lost 20 lbs in a month, just so they could eat.
While you got drunk and dialed, incoherently complaining- I had to hide enough money to keep the water on, and take a good beating for it.
While you complained that you didn't get to go out with friends often enough because of work- I was literally a prisoner in my own home, and I was repeatedly beaten for talking to you at all.
Through all of your bullshit... when have you ever taken a moment to consider the fact that you might just have it pretty damned good? NEVER.
As bad as my shit was, someone else had it worse. As close as I came to being another obituary, someone else did. When bad shit wasn't happening, I made of it what I could... WITHOUT THE HELP OF ANYONE.
Fuck You. Fuck you very very much.
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