The past year has been a nightmare, which I've not been at liberty to talk about. I don't think I'm going to say much now... I just want to cry.
When another human being does something with malice. Makes claim of heinous acts perpetrated by an innocent individual, with the express purpose of wiping clean their existence in society (and more importantly, the lives of their children), it leaves a void that can not be filled with anything but hatred, fear, anger, loss... despair.
That is what the past year has been full of. Anger at the fact of a lie which could not (until today) be proven. Fear, so much fear of what *could* happen in the event that this individual actually succeeded. Hatred, I admit the hatred... So much hatred. Not the petty dislike which people refer to as hatred. True, honest hatred, which until you've felt you know nothing of.
Every day has been an exercise in patience, restraint, love. Compressing, neatly packaging, and forcing that anger to the pit of my stomach until it began to dissolve... End result has been the physical manifestations of stress- Migraines, Insomnia, Anxiety, Weight Gain... Oh, so much fun!
One day, when it is all said and done, I'll have my say... I'll tell the world what this cunt did to her own daughter to try to make this appear real. I'll confront the investigator who refused to take evidence which did not help build her case. I'll tear apart the social workers who refused to actually do their jobs... When it is all said and done, I will be able to speak my piece regarding the injustice which I've witnessed.
The system is so incredibly broken.
My alcoholic, drug abusing, rapist, child abusing, thief, sociopath of an ex husband gets off scott free- is allowed visitation, and I've been denied protection from a man who has beaten, raped, burned, poisoned, thrown me from a moving vehicle, tried to kill me while I was pregnant, literally imprisoned me by nailing the windows shut and reversing the locks on the doors (for weeks)... Would you like me to continue? I've got at least two more pages worth. The sick bastard even sexually assaulted my dog (a 7 lb female pomeranian) in front of me- and threatened to kill her.
Now he's threatened to kill me again ( "You know I won't let you keep the kids. They're mine, and I'll kill you before you get to keep them."... His threat, which he has already attempted, is to kill me so that he can have the children) and there isn't a damned thing I can do until he breaks into my home while I'm sleeping- Did I mention that the judge who denied me protection said, and I quote "You deserve what you get", when my ex stated that I had had an affair. Beautiful, isn't it? The man is an ex seal trainee drop out... and not because he couldn't make the cut. Because he couldn't do that AND maintain control over his then fiancée.
Meanwhile, a man who is nothing if not good, has loved, cared for, and attempted to provide his family, his children with the best things life has to offer has been forced out of the picture so that the trash can return to the trailer park.
I know he didn't realize what she was when they met, how could he have? No, not under those circumstances... it is painfully apparent now though.
She succeeded at alienating the children... that is it. I feel sick, and my heart aches for justice to be done. I'm helpless, and yet I see the wealth of evidence that can, should, and needs to be used... but at what cost? The cunt will stop at nothing. Absolutely nothing, to leverage the broken system against him again... That is one thing she knows how to manipulate all too well, since she's done it before- Eventually, she'll do it again, just like she did to the one before him.
When a woman has a string of 'psychotic exs' one must look to see what the common denominator is... HER.
I come from a "Blended Family". My mother was me- a victim of CDV, and like me she survived. She still exhibits symptoms of PTSD from over 30 years ago... I wonder if I'll be the same way.
My father had his children taken from him by his ex wife (who, we now know has several conditions (mental) which she has been treated for), was accused of abuse, alienated and replaced by a new man who subsequently DID the things he was accused of.
My mother's children for the most part resented me for having been born (I am the sole product of their union, which came to them at great cost- even the reversal of sterilization). Even though my father had adopted them years prior... My eldest brother and I were always close, while the other two (especially my sister) loathed my presence in their lives.
My father's children were in and out of our lives, convinced of some wrongdoing which never occurred. Now, as adults they've become more aware of what actually happened... My older brother is in the *same* situation with his soon to be ex, the system has been leveraged against him. Now he's drowning in it. It is so incredibly common that these deranged women simply LIE to get what they want, that the system accommodates them to get the process over with more efficiently.
Now, here we are, he and I. In the same exact position as my parents... and all I can do is be angry at the system.
I got bent over and had the judicial system rammed up my ass repeatedly, simply because I am a woman, and after 6 years of violent rape, physical and psychological abuse, imprisonment, and even forced pregnancy...after all of that, and two years of being confined to a separate bedroom, told that I was unworthy of HIS bed... I finally took it upon myself to finalize our physical separation.
Literally all he had to do, down here in the dirty south, was breathe the word affair and every judge in the district wanted to see me publicly raped, beaten tarred & feathered, then hung from a tree...
Words from the slightly wiser, broken, fucked over individual... Unless you can see yourself wiping his ass when he's 80- don't marry him. Seriously.
Unless you can see yourself hauling her sz 42 LONG tits off of the floor, and into a warn out bra... don't marry her. Seriously.
Eventually that is where you're going to wind up, and if you cringed at the reality of who you'll some day be married to, know now that you're not going to make it.
At the end of the day, it's not how great the sex it, how much money he/she makes, how attractive they are, talented they are (be it physically, artistically, or otherwise), funny they are, smart they are... none of that is going to matter.
When you get down to it, the shit that really matters is whether you look forward to seeing that person when you wake up in the morning- even when things aren't so great. If you can live together peacefully, without fear of reprisal for unimportant, petty shit. If you truly trust them... I find that most people don't even know what trust is, let alone have it for their significant other. If you know that when shit hits the fan, they'll stand behind you to keep you from getting blown over, or jump in front of you to bear the brunt of the impact, or simply stand beside you so you're not alone and covered in shit. What matters is that the petty shit doesn't matter- at the end of the day, you're there. THAT is what matters.
I wish someone had told me that 10 or 12 years ago. I might have actually listened. Instead, I had to learn it the hard way... so did he. We're still learning. But the one thing neither one of us ever anticipated having to learn the hard way, is that when someone attacks you, leveraging they broke ass system against you, even a small victory will be of immeasurable cost.
He lost his family, and was almost wiped clean from society- and to prevent it from happening again, has to let go of everything dear to him. I lost my right to protection, the sanctity of my physical safety, and the right to provide for my children's physical, emotional, and mental safety. Both of us were violated- Him, emotionally and unlawfully had the legal system leveraged against him. Me, physically- and I have no legal recourse, since there is no such thing as rape (even what is now defined as forcible rape) in a marriage.
We both had victories. They cost more than they were worth. So much more.
When another human being does something with malice. Makes claim of heinous acts perpetrated by an innocent individual, with the express purpose of wiping clean their existence in society (and more importantly, the lives of their children), it leaves a void that can not be filled with anything but hatred, fear, anger, loss... despair.
That is what the past year has been full of. Anger at the fact of a lie which could not (until today) be proven. Fear, so much fear of what *could* happen in the event that this individual actually succeeded. Hatred, I admit the hatred... So much hatred. Not the petty dislike which people refer to as hatred. True, honest hatred, which until you've felt you know nothing of.
Every day has been an exercise in patience, restraint, love. Compressing, neatly packaging, and forcing that anger to the pit of my stomach until it began to dissolve... End result has been the physical manifestations of stress- Migraines, Insomnia, Anxiety, Weight Gain... Oh, so much fun!
One day, when it is all said and done, I'll have my say... I'll tell the world what this cunt did to her own daughter to try to make this appear real. I'll confront the investigator who refused to take evidence which did not help build her case. I'll tear apart the social workers who refused to actually do their jobs... When it is all said and done, I will be able to speak my piece regarding the injustice which I've witnessed.
The system is so incredibly broken.
My alcoholic, drug abusing, rapist, child abusing, thief, sociopath of an ex husband gets off scott free- is allowed visitation, and I've been denied protection from a man who has beaten, raped, burned, poisoned, thrown me from a moving vehicle, tried to kill me while I was pregnant, literally imprisoned me by nailing the windows shut and reversing the locks on the doors (for weeks)... Would you like me to continue? I've got at least two more pages worth. The sick bastard even sexually assaulted my dog (a 7 lb female pomeranian) in front of me- and threatened to kill her.
Now he's threatened to kill me again ( "You know I won't let you keep the kids. They're mine, and I'll kill you before you get to keep them."... His threat, which he has already attempted, is to kill me so that he can have the children) and there isn't a damned thing I can do until he breaks into my home while I'm sleeping- Did I mention that the judge who denied me protection said, and I quote "You deserve what you get", when my ex stated that I had had an affair. Beautiful, isn't it? The man is an ex seal trainee drop out... and not because he couldn't make the cut. Because he couldn't do that AND maintain control over his then fiancée.
Meanwhile, a man who is nothing if not good, has loved, cared for, and attempted to provide his family, his children with the best things life has to offer has been forced out of the picture so that the trash can return to the trailer park.
I know he didn't realize what she was when they met, how could he have? No, not under those circumstances... it is painfully apparent now though.
She succeeded at alienating the children... that is it. I feel sick, and my heart aches for justice to be done. I'm helpless, and yet I see the wealth of evidence that can, should, and needs to be used... but at what cost? The cunt will stop at nothing. Absolutely nothing, to leverage the broken system against him again... That is one thing she knows how to manipulate all too well, since she's done it before- Eventually, she'll do it again, just like she did to the one before him.
When a woman has a string of 'psychotic exs' one must look to see what the common denominator is... HER.
I come from a "Blended Family". My mother was me- a victim of CDV, and like me she survived. She still exhibits symptoms of PTSD from over 30 years ago... I wonder if I'll be the same way.
My father had his children taken from him by his ex wife (who, we now know has several conditions (mental) which she has been treated for), was accused of abuse, alienated and replaced by a new man who subsequently DID the things he was accused of.
My mother's children for the most part resented me for having been born (I am the sole product of their union, which came to them at great cost- even the reversal of sterilization). Even though my father had adopted them years prior... My eldest brother and I were always close, while the other two (especially my sister) loathed my presence in their lives.
My father's children were in and out of our lives, convinced of some wrongdoing which never occurred. Now, as adults they've become more aware of what actually happened... My older brother is in the *same* situation with his soon to be ex, the system has been leveraged against him. Now he's drowning in it. It is so incredibly common that these deranged women simply LIE to get what they want, that the system accommodates them to get the process over with more efficiently.
Now, here we are, he and I. In the same exact position as my parents... and all I can do is be angry at the system.
I got bent over and had the judicial system rammed up my ass repeatedly, simply because I am a woman, and after 6 years of violent rape, physical and psychological abuse, imprisonment, and even forced pregnancy...after all of that, and two years of being confined to a separate bedroom, told that I was unworthy of HIS bed... I finally took it upon myself to finalize our physical separation.
Literally all he had to do, down here in the dirty south, was breathe the word affair and every judge in the district wanted to see me publicly raped, beaten tarred & feathered, then hung from a tree...
Words from the slightly wiser, broken, fucked over individual... Unless you can see yourself wiping his ass when he's 80- don't marry him. Seriously.
Unless you can see yourself hauling her sz 42 LONG tits off of the floor, and into a warn out bra... don't marry her. Seriously.
Eventually that is where you're going to wind up, and if you cringed at the reality of who you'll some day be married to, know now that you're not going to make it.
At the end of the day, it's not how great the sex it, how much money he/she makes, how attractive they are, talented they are (be it physically, artistically, or otherwise), funny they are, smart they are... none of that is going to matter.
When you get down to it, the shit that really matters is whether you look forward to seeing that person when you wake up in the morning- even when things aren't so great. If you can live together peacefully, without fear of reprisal for unimportant, petty shit. If you truly trust them... I find that most people don't even know what trust is, let alone have it for their significant other. If you know that when shit hits the fan, they'll stand behind you to keep you from getting blown over, or jump in front of you to bear the brunt of the impact, or simply stand beside you so you're not alone and covered in shit. What matters is that the petty shit doesn't matter- at the end of the day, you're there. THAT is what matters.
I wish someone had told me that 10 or 12 years ago. I might have actually listened. Instead, I had to learn it the hard way... so did he. We're still learning. But the one thing neither one of us ever anticipated having to learn the hard way, is that when someone attacks you, leveraging they broke ass system against you, even a small victory will be of immeasurable cost.
He lost his family, and was almost wiped clean from society- and to prevent it from happening again, has to let go of everything dear to him. I lost my right to protection, the sanctity of my physical safety, and the right to provide for my children's physical, emotional, and mental safety. Both of us were violated- Him, emotionally and unlawfully had the legal system leveraged against him. Me, physically- and I have no legal recourse, since there is no such thing as rape (even what is now defined as forcible rape) in a marriage.
We both had victories. They cost more than they were worth. So much more.
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